News Flash!

Max and I sleep on different schedules. He's smart and healthy and motivated and a MUCH better person than I am. He's definitely an early to bed/early to rise kind of guy. I'm completely opposite. I HATE mornings and hate getting up. And if I go to bed early, it means I get up early and that's... well.... BLECH!!! So I stay up later than he does.

He's also a heavy sleeper. He has slept through children vomiting, me coughing my head off all night, babies crying.... I'm sure it comes from growing up in a small house with 8 (sometimes more children) living in it and very thin walls.

What's funny about all this?

He's also a sleep talker. He can be sound asleep, have a full conversation with me and not remember a thing the next morning. We have been married for 22 years and it has never changed! (He usually talks about work.)

Here's a "For Instance:" We were in the newly wed stage. Probably within the first 2 years of marriage. Max had gone to bed and was out of it! I came to bed and he rolled over and started talking. I knew he was asleep so I thought I'd play a joke on him. I said -- in an urgent whisper -- "Max. You need to get up and get out of the apartment! It's on fire!" He acted confused for a minute so I said it again.

Lo and behold, he got out of bed and started heading for the front door.

Of course, I was dying laughing! It was hilarious! He was almost to the door and I, in my fit of hysteria, turned him around and sent him back to bed and told him it was just a joke.

He didn't say anything other than a grunt and was back to snoring immediately.

The next morning, I felt bad. I had exploited this quirk of his for my own amusement and I was feeling some remorse. So with my eyes downcast and a contrite voice, I said to him, "I'm sorry I tricked you about the fire last night."

~~crickets~~

Feeling TERRIBLE and thinking that he was really mad, I turned my tear filled eyes to him to offer the apology again -- and was stopped short by his face.

Confusion.

"What are you talking about?" was his answer.

He honestly had idea of what I was talking about!

How would it be to sleep that soundly?

Back to my original story..... Last night. It was the same-old scene. Max is sawing logs and I'm relaxing, watching American Idol. I have this weird cough and one burst out of me. It startled him and he rolls over and -- still very much asleep -- asks if I'm okay. I pat his shoulder and tell him to go back to sleep that everything is fine. Then he says....

"I have chest hair."

snore.......

It's a testament to how soundly he sleeps because I laughed loud enough to wake the neighbors and he didn't move again.

I love you Max! When I said on my Facebook status that no one in the world can make me laugh like you, I wasn't kidding!!