"Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind... We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith." -- Margaret D. Nadauld

Monday, October 24, 2011

Dear Mom, I’m so sorry…

… that I got married one week before Christmas.

Yes, I did that to my mother.

Max and I thought we were acting in the best interest of everyone by getting married between semesters at Ricks College. That way I wouldn’t lose money on my housing contract, we wouldn’t be too distracted to get our school work done (that part of the plan didn’t work so well) and – well – we would be “on break” after all, so it would just be easier if we got married on Dec. 19.

Obviously, I was NOT the person planning my wedding.

And now I understand what a terrible thing I did to my mother.

I’m planning a wedding – I don’t have a huge holiday looming that I also have to plan and prepare for – and I feel like I’m about to lose my mind. People warned me about the intense work that is involved, but I didn’t fully comprehend what they were saying.

It’s like having a baby. People tell you that you can experience moments of being uncomfortable, but they don’t spell out the details of how uncomfortable you can actually be.
They tell you that labor and delivery are painful, but somehow they don’t communicate that it really IS similar to pulling your bottom lip up over the top of your head… pain-wise.

Holy cow!!

The days are winding down…. we have just under 3 weeks until the reception (remember, Buttercup’s reception is the day before the wedding) and my goal is to have EVERYTHING put together, completed and baked  in two weeks.


If you think I’m crazy now, just give me another 10 days and I’ll be completely bonkers!!

But even though I feel like my life is totally out of control, I should recognize that I actually have a lot accomplished. The dress is bought and we will pick it up from the alteration lady on Wednesday. We have most of the clothing we’re providing for the members of the bride and groom party. I have the centerpieces organized and ready. After searching long and hard for affordable, GOOD photographers, I feel confident in the ladies we have hired… and can I tell you that I feel we have them for a STEAL? Seriously, don’t ask how much we’re paying. It’s embarrassing. I feel so cheap!


We’ll call it FRUGAL!

I have decided in an effort to save moola, I will make all the refreshments for the reception. I’m still working on that, but so far I have between 500 & 600 peanut butter balls rolled and frozen, waiting to be dipped into chocolate the week of the reception. I have about 400 sugar cookies baked and frozen (for mini- fruit pizzas). I’ve only made two loaves of pumpkin chocolate chip bread, because I had a slight disaster baking them, but I will finish baking them tomorrow. Also this week, I will be making about 400 mini pie crusts. Here’s hoping they turn out! And a few more items.




But I haffta do it! I only have one daughter. I only get one shot at this – unless Inigo marries a girl from across the country. Then I get to plan another reception, but on a much smaller scale, I’m certain.

Here’s an observation I recently made: Remember when I was Camp Director? The first year I planned camp, I was a basket case. I worked myself to the bone trying to learn everything, organize everything and make it the best camp EVER!

The second year was easier. I still worked hard, but it wasn’t as scary. I was a lot more confident in my abilities and had learned that whatever we had planned, would be fun and the girls would all say it was their “best year ever!” (Don’t they say it every year?)

The third year (yes, I was camp director for THREE YEARS!!) camp planned itself. It still required a little effort, but I had learned enough and had things left over from previous years that it kind of just fell together.

Planning a wedding/reception is exactly like camp. At first, I planned NOTHING. I was scared, overwhelmed and didn’t know where to turn or who I could ask for help. Little by little, people approached me and said, “Do this,” or “Look here” and I began to see that I actually can plan and prepare. Slowly, things began to fall into place and I gained a vision of what to do and where I can turn for resources and ideas. (HELLO PINTEREST!)

And now, I really believe that if I had to, I could plan another wedding reception. Yes, it would still require work and effort, but it wouldn’t be nearly as stressful. But, I don’t get to plan another one. Not for a long time anyway – at least 13+ years.

(Someone told me that if you’re the mother of the groom, you wear beige and SHUT UP! Meaning: leave it all up to the bride and her mother. It made me laugh!)

So anyway, in all my camp/wedding analogies, I was trying to decide which is more work: A week at girl’s camp with 10+ girls, or a wedding reception.

The race is close… very close… but I think the wedding reception wins! After all, when you’re planning camp, the bishop calls someone – an assistant – that HAS to help you. As it is, I’ve done most of the work for the reception on my own. HOWEVER!!! Let me add the disclaimer that I have had MANY offers of help. I’m not sure where to have people help, so I haven’t taken a lot of people up on their offers, but there’s still time… so all you friends and neighbors who read my blog, BEWARE!! I may have said no to you last week, but you may not be so lucky next week! :)

And if I have been neglecting my blog lately, please understand, because my daughter’s getting married and I’ve been otherwise occupied!


Yvonne said...

WOW!!! You are AMAZING. I know it is all going to be wonderful--I hope you are not so tired that you can't enjoy the whole experience. Take a breather.

I wish I was one of your neighbors and was there to help. Even if you just have friends there while you bake, it would make it more fun, eh ; )

Hang in there.

Garden of Egan said...

I so remember.
But about that part of this being the hard one because it's your only daughter? Ya, not!
My son was married this summer and they didn't do a reception in her state. Uh, they sorta didn't do anything. At all!
So don't go breathin' that sigh of relief.
Oh, but I guess I could be a little bit uplifting and encouraging while you're in the midst of craziness.

It sounds like it's going to be absolutely gorgeous! You are doing a great thing making such a wonderful memory for her.

Ya, Pinterest! The best!

Connie said...

I did the same type of thing for my daughter's wedding in August. I made a HUGE mistake though. I didn't get any kitchen help during the reception. Don't do what I did. My whole family (except the daughter getting married) stayed in the kitchen all night. I didn't get to see much of the reception because of it. Can you imagine the mother of the bride hiding out in the kitchen while friends and family have to visit with her there?

You will save lots of money and it will be wonderful just get someone to man (or woman) the kitchen!

Good luck.
I have another daughter getting married on the 12th. We're doing things a tiny bit differently. (She has a little more money than her younger sister)

OK, I've rambled enough. Get all the help you can get.

Maddie Stevens said...

Oh sister CArey I just love you.